Prospect Avenue Strength and Conditioning
"Power Is Everything...Parody is Entertaining"
We offer free online programming, but highly recommend that you don't attempt it. It will probably kill you. Seriously, each workout is so ridiculous we have to add a disclaimer telling everyone that the workout should not actually be attempted by anyone. Seriously - don't even click through. You've been warned. Also, due to the exclusive nature of this content and the unfiltered nature of the posts (i.e. you might see a swear word or two) - the content is password protected. Contact us for details. prospectstrength.wordpress.com.
That's right, if you're willing to sign over your entire paycheck, we offer the opportunity to spend exclusive one on one training time with our coaching staff. Imagine Superman or Batman coaching you through the workouts they use to maintain their effectiveness against super villains terrorizing this planet. Now imagine a workout that makes that workout seem like old lady water aerobics and coaches that make Superman and Batman seem like the Olsen twins. Yes, it will be that brutal and that awesome all at the same time. Your kids don't need a college fund - come train with us. Times are extremely limited - and yes - just like the rest of our offerings it is extremely exclusive, so contact us to apply. By the way, the application better blow us out of the water - we love our current clients and spaces are limited. It'll take one heck of an application or avvery large bribe to push them out.
We offer personally tailored programming for individuals who can't make it to the box or who just aren't ready to be approved for Group Classes. For an enormous fee, that you probably can't afford, one of our coaches will provide programming to you. The programming will be specifically tailored to attack your weak spots (so in your case, pretty much everything). Our programming is not for the weak - it will take immense levels of personal dedication and intestinal fortitude to will yourself through to the end each and every day. It will feel like you've been trampled by an elephant, chewed up by a Tiger, and then "expelled". For pricing and to apply, please contact us...and make it good, remember our programming is exclusive and we don't waste our extremely precious time for just anybody.
We offer competitive group classes almost every day. Each class member is expected to give 125% or die trying. We don't reward success, but we do punish failure. If you're looking for like minded sadistic individuals to throw down with, then Prospect Avenue Strength and Conditioning's group classes are just what the doctor ordered. We promise that you'll be praying to quit long before the work out is over. Group classes are very exclusive and not for the feint of heart. Contact us to apply for membership if you think you handle it...you probably can't.
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